How to find an approach to a difficult child?
Perhaps the term “difficult child” is known to almost every parent and, even more so, to the teacher, not only they write about these children in books, but even make films and make scenes, because they are a real punishment for their loved ones, and maybe and no?
Some mothers or fathers hopelessly sigh, they say, “what to do, difficult child,” and everything immediately becomes clear, so parents even want to sympathize, because children, characterized by such a term, bring them a lot of trouble and worries.
With such guys, no matter what age they are in, it is quite difficult to find a contact, they absolutely do not want to do what they are told, no matter how hard their parents or teachers try to convince them. Sometimes, in the most difficult and peak situations, adults simply give up, there is a desire to surrender, to be led by their offspring, if only it stops to be capricious and play pranks.
Believe me, for everyone, even the most difficult child, you can find an individual approach, so to speak,a key to your heart, after choosing which, your relationship will begin to improve noticeably, and the former tomboy will appear before you in a completely different, positive light.
I must say that educating such children is a really difficult matter, sometimes requiring professional pedagogical and even sometimes psychological techniques, which, by the way, will be useful in the relevant literature. How to bring up such children, often tired parents are interested, without even thinking that, in many respects, in the "difficulties" of their own child they are to blame themselves.
What determines the formation of "difficult" personality?
The formation of the child’s personality, in many respects, depends directly on the environment in which he grows and develops, namely on the situation in the family. If all that the baby sees around him are constant quarrels, alcoholic or tobacco stench, then he is unlikely to be able to study normally, feel and strive for something better.
Many of the qualities of a child, and, subsequently, of an adult, are laid from the very young age, and, by the way, by parents. It is very important for any child that good relations reign in the family,it is important for him to feel comfortable and protected, feeling the constant support and trust from the parents. It is these, at first glance, simple truths that can lay the right foundation in the child, which will help him to continue to follow the correct course.
An interesting fact is that often the children, whom many used to call the term “difficult”, are not as such, behind the mask of the malicious paranost, whom the mother is already tired of scolding for each offense, is a curious and, to some extent, in moderation, agile kid.
These children are trying to get more from the outside world, to learn and, so to speak, “try” everything on themselves, and the huge number of prohibitions that caring parents set for them are able to knock them off even more with the right thoughts. From the oversupply of information, according to which “you can’t do this and that, and this,” they start to get confused and, in the end, they still do something in their own way, already awaiting punishment from their elders. Have you ever tried to resolve more?
For some parents, such a thought sounds like wildness, but think about it, is there much confusion from your inhibitions? After all, the prankster did not care, after waiting for the time, turned everything in his own way, once you turned away.If you are thinking about how to help yourself and your child, then just try to allow him something that was categorically forbidden before.
Do not be afraid that the child will quickly get used to the absence of any prohibitions, just the same it will exclude the situations when a difficult child tried to do you in defiance, just because he was forbidden much.
It is possible that after the lifting of the prohibitions, there will come a period of “have time to do everything as much as possible”, until the prohibitions again come into force, so to speak, “come off in full.” It will have to wait, and when the child understands that your new relationship is not based solely on prohibitions and punishments, his ardor will gradually fade away.
Many parents find it very difficult to change the system of their own behavior, because they believe that permissiveness has not led to anything good yet. Permissiveness is yes, but unobtrusive control over certain actions in which the child is given the right to choose - most often, gives his positive results, even if sometimes not immediately.
Very often in psychology is an example: when parents accidentally find out that their child began to indulge in cigarettes, they, of course, make a scandal with the separation of all flights, which often so does not lead to anything.
And some, perhaps wiser parents, offer their child a pack of cigarettes right at home. They explain all the harm, show good examples and so on. Surprisingly, in most cases, after such suggestions from the parents, the children reconsider their attitude to cigarettes.
And so on almost any example, regardless of age. Sometimes, it is even important that the child burn himself and, already on his own mistakes, be able to build a logical chain of correct actions. Parental attention should not be focused on protecting your beloved, albeit capricious, child from all mistakes, but, watching from outside, to minimize their magnitude.
A few tips on raising "difficult" children
A great many parents, in pursuit of some difficult psychological methods, lose a very important moment of raising any child - this is the ability to communicate with him.
Psychologists have proved that the time spent with parents, as much as possible favorably affects the development and formation of a small personality.
Communication should be present everywhere and always - for a walk in the park, on the way home, at home, or while reading a book.The more the child will feel parental care, affection and love, the more likely he is to become a healthy person, both emotionally and psychologically.
For attachment and respect to arise between parent and child, they must spend as much time as possible together. Subsequently, it will be much easier for you to reach your baby, show him where he is wrong and where he should act differently.
By the way, do not forget to show your emotions to your child, if you don’t like something, don’t have to grab the belt, beatings is not a panacea at all, try to explain in a calm and reasonable tone what you don’t like. There is another interesting method in education - this is a request.
Try to agree with the child about a specific situation, ask him to do what you want, be sure to explain why it will be better, and not otherwise. And the last thing that should not be forgotten is a discipline, without it, after all, after all, after all, it’s always interesting for a rogue to know where its face is.
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