How to stop criticizing yourself
First, listen to your inner voice and try to write down on a piece of paper what exactly it tells you. Indicate exactly what the essence of criticism is. Make a list, carefully go through all the items and decide for yourself whether the recorded is worth it to pay attention to. If you decide that the next item is really your problem, look for ways to fix it. If you realize that the criticism is completely unjustified, reject what has been written. Tell yourself that you do not accept this point, you do not consider yourself guilty of anything. You need to understand that you are deceiving yourself, admit that your inner voice is lying to you. It is necessary to reject this kind of unreasonable criticism as vividly as possible. This may be, for example, a loud and emotional statement, a detailed refutation or an action. Do not limit yourself to simple words; the more active you behave, the more likely you are to stop being subjected to unfair self-criticism.
Critical statements to your account do not appear by themselves.There must be a reason that causes them. Determining the exact source or reason forcing you to criticize yourself can be very difficult to find, perhaps even requiring the help of a psychologist. For example, some people refuse to take on additional professional responsibilities only because they believe that they will not cope with a new position. Or, for example, a person may take responsibility for the mistakes of the team, even if he is not guilty of them. Such behavior can be caused by critical statements of people around them in the past, self-doubt, the presence of an unreasonable sense of duty to all others and many other reasons. All this can lower self-esteem and develop into excessive self-criticism. Having determined the exact cause, you can analyze it and, possibly, solve the problem.
A good way to stop criticizing yourself is to constantly rephrase criticisms, wrapping them in your favor. Whenever you criticize yourself, try to say that this is not a reproach, but a proposal to become better.For example, if you reproach yourself for the fact that due to the limitedness of your knowledge, the team did not get the expected results, do not tell yourself that you are not well versed in your duties. Say that now you know where to go, you know what you need to learn, you have a chance to improve your professionalism, etc.
If you realize that it’s not always possible to cope with the flow of negative thoughts, try distracting yourself and not thinking about it. Do not give your inner voice an opportunity to attract your attention with a new portion of criticism. Listen to music, read books, communicate with friends, fill your mind with positive. Do everything that can distract you.
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