“A man is initially a good man”: interview with energy coach

Relationships are a complex mechanism. If you join them, relying on chance, and wait for activity from a partner, then they may turn out to be completely different from what you had planned. Olga Kopyt, a psychologist and energy coach, author of training courses and programs, shared with us how to build the relationship of your dreams.
- Olga, what is the secret of ideal relationships?
Olga Kopyt

- Usually women expect something from a relationship. But the secret lies in the fact that the relationship must be created and built, and not wait. That is, you need to ask yourself every time: “What kind of relationship do I want? What am I in this relationship? How does my man manifest himself? ”To register all the parameters. While relations are not present is a blank sheet. When you think about them, sketches appear - two looks, male and female. And then the task of each woman is to make these sketches more accurate, to prescribe in detail yourself and your partner. When clarity arises in the head, we begin to live this relationship. For example, if I choose that I create relaxation in a relationship, then I will be relaxed.And a man can not prevent it. That is, if I create relationships, I create them within myself, and not expect it from a man.

Photo: Getty Images
“Can we create the qualities of a man too?”
Olga Kopyt

- Yes, a man becomes the way we see him. For example, if I choose that a man is caring, then I see the manifestation of this concern in his actions, as I begin to focus on this. I thank him for this concern, and it becomes even more. But there is no what I expect from him to care. I can gently ask to do something, support his care, but not tell him: “Now take care of me!” That is, the focus of attention is on how he takes care of me. If you wait, and not focus on something, then there will be no change. We choose these qualities in him, and he becomes so.

- Does the man also have expectations about us?
Olga Kopyt

- Yes there is. And for his part, he also builds relationships. But this is his responsibility.

- And how to find out what qualities he chose in us and wants them to manifest?
Olga Kopyt

- It can be found out in a sincere dialogue. But the way that I propose is more effective. It is based on our choice. A man in any case wants diversity, different manifestations of the same woman. When a woman can be different, the relationship is more interesting.And they can be endless.

- Is sex required in a relationship? Or a relationship can be without him?
Olga Kopyt

- Yes, relationships are needed for intimacy. Otherwise it is a friendship. This is different. Real relationships begin when people are close. Then their fields begin to touch and interact. Before that, when a person is far away, you can think out a lot. A woman is inclined to invent and live in her thoughts and conjectures. Men are much less involved in this, because their brains are busy with other tasks. And a woman has more free time, therefore, more time for fantasy. A man often works as an intellect, and a woman is busy with domestic issues. Therefore, it can go into illusion. In relationships, it is important to show love every day and choose love.

- How to recognize a man? What is he the same? If a woman is prone to fantasies ...
Olga Kopyt

- If a man is active and if he is interested in a woman, then this is the man.

- That is, a woman should not be active herself and win a man? For example, send messages and remind yourself ...
Olga Kopyt

- You can talk to him and invite somewhere. And even offer to know each other better.But do not hang out in fantasy, otherwise you can lose a lot of time. And do not think that someone owes us something. Since there are many stereotypes in society about what a man should be and what a woman should be. From this, a person loses the desire to manifest. We have a lot of fears. Especially fear not to like. Relationships are when both said “Yes, we have relationships.” If one thinks that they have a relationship, and the other does not think, then this is not a relationship. Although they can then grow into a relationship. More often the woman provokes the movement of relationships. A man acts after that. Again, a woman decides within herself that "my man wants to start a family." And he begins to build within himself the next stage of relations - the family. It is possible that the man with whom she is now is not suitable for this role. Then either he will change and become the one who wants a family. Or he, on the contrary, will disappear and another man will appear who is suitable for this role. A woman often does not think about what she really wants. It seems to her that she wants a family, but within her there is a contradiction and condemnation of the family due to the unsuccessful experience of the mother and grandmother or her previous relationships, then nothing will be created. It is important to look deeper and build content.

- How to determine the balance in a relationship? Do they have a balance.
Olga Kopyt

- In general, each person understands whether he gives enough in a relationship or not. And it happens that a woman just can not take. And then it seems to her that a man does not give her enough. This is a very fine line. And it is important to look at your role in a relationship. A man can do from morning to evening, but a woman will still be unhappy. You can not find the guilty. It is important to return to itself. If there is a “greedy man” file in your head, then the man will be like that in the end

- What to do with a hyper-controlling man?
Olga Kopyt

- If a woman continues to stay with him and there is magnetism between them, then you can work on relationships. There are several options: the woman herself does not control her life. She used to transfer responsibility for the choice of a man. This is an immature woman, and inside she is not ready to manage her life. Another option is controlling parents. For example, dad or mom were controlling. The woman got used to it. And she will create such a man. And this man, by the way, may be completely different with other people. The same man with different women will behave differently.With one woman he can be affectionate and gentle, on the other - rude and aggressive. With one woman - greedy, with another - generous, with one - weak and aching, with the other - active and strong. Because all this exists in the head of a woman: what I am, what my man and what our relationship is. Everything that is recorded in our heads is what we live. It is like a computer program. It is important to remember that the parameters inside can be changed. They change at that moment when we saw our files and settings in my head and stopped blaming others for being bad. It is important to sincerely admit to myself that I created such a man, then decide what kind of man I want.

- Is it worth it to speak to a man about our discontent when we are very annoyed?
Olga Kopyt

- Here it is important to write down on a piece of paper qualities that we don’t like. And then write, and how I want it to be. A man can then say what you want from him. And he will understand what to do. It will be a kind of instruction for him. And do not bring down all the negative that you wrote down. Splashing out the negative provokes a response and the man just closes and stops hearing us. Emotionally, a woman is much stronger.Therefore, a man is simply forced to close when negatives and claims are thrown at him. However, initially, any man has a setting of “make a woman happy,” even the most difficult. It is important to understand that all issues are solvable. Everything can be negotiated. And that man is initially a good person.

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